There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
