wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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