alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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