Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
