I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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