is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
