you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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