i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
