Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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