ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
