Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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