nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize