My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
