I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i dont even know how to be here
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
