They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
