i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
