So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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