you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
