i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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