coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
