I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
