After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
