What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
