so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His nipple licking is glorious
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