uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
