just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
