i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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