so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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