take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
