Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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