Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
