Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
