call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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