hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
