he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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