apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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