I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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