"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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