To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
