and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
