I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
