my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
