the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize