ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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