this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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