I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
