I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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