I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
