stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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