you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So much Jack, so little girl.
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