2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.