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So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it was like having sex with a tree stump
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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