just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.