Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

(1-734): View more from Michigan

what was she crying about?

(734): View more from Michigan

i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

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(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm

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(315): View more from New York

playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps

(315): View more from New York

warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

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(315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps (315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey http://tfl.nu/dgn3

Replies (86) Good night (3942) Bad night (562)
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(904): View more from Florida

sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!

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(904): sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut! http://tfl.nu/fz7u

Replies (31) Good night (5801) Bad night (654)
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(845): View more from New York

As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth

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(845): As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth http://tfl.nu/7fqn

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(847): View more from Illinois

You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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(847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz

Replies (19) Good night (7133) Bad night (1215)
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(530): View more from California

Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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(530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef

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(418): View more from Quebec

I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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(418): I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out http://tfl.nu/dee8

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(650): View more from California

I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.

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(650): I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain. http://tfl.nu/vu8q

Replies (11) Good night (2094) Bad night (818)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?

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(732): He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it? http://tfl.nu/l4jt

Replies (13) Good night (2408) Bad night (1284)
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(970): View more from Colorado

This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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(970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc

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(973): View more from New Jersey

But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.

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(973): But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing. http://tfl.nu/ee1i

Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (431)
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(757): View more from Virginia

All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.

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(757): All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/k2dr

Replies (4) Good night (1402) Bad night (437)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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(775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie

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(904): View more from Florida

That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.

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(904): That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring. http://tfl.nu/5dnd

Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (231)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

(908): View more from New Jersey

This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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(732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma

Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (288)

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