I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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