I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
