She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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