did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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