:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
