So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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