I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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