hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
