There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
