no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize