i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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