Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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