I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
