Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
